Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
so much tequila, so little girl.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
