I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
