True but thats because hes a fetus.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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