Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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