She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
