i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
