It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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