There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
