My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
