The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
oh god the rape fog is back!
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
