UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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