You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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