I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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