I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
