No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
