You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
