My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize