I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
