i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
