If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
