I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
