Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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