Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
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