i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
