So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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