420 ftw
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize