If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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