Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
