I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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