You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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