At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
