don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
