Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
