Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So vagazzling was a success
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
