No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
