yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Can you bring me the toilet please
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
