But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
