He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
