I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
