She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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