I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
