operation harelip BJ is a go
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
