i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
