my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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