So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
