god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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