oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
