your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
send nudes
from the living room?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
