just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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