best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
