On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
