I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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