Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
