I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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