At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
