you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
