it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
