I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
